Banquet encourages awareness during national week ND survivors share rape stories

Raising rape awareness by sharing their stories was the goal oi' two Notre Dame sexual assault survivors, during Wednesday’s Surv ivor Panel Discussion arranged by Campus Alliance for Rape Elimination (CARE). Lindsay, a junior, and Kori, a senior, both presented the stories of their rapes and the effects on their lives. Emphasizing not only the horror of the incident itself, but also how they dealt w ith it, both women said they hoped their talk would help others in similar situations. "I’d like to be a survivor rather than a victim,” said Lindsay, a vic­ tim of acquaintance rape. “Today’s discussion was good because it was a different point of view,” said James Schuyler, presi­ dent of CARE. R eferring to Sexual Assault Awareness Week’s other talks, he said, “ Monday was education, Tuesday’s perspective was more removed, but [Wednesday night] was about this campus. These are people you can see w a lk ing around here.” Lindsay chose to have sex with her boyfriend, Jason, eight months after they started going out during her junior year of high school. It was a decision she rationalized by te lling herself she would la ter m arry him. But as Jason grew depressed and suicidal, their rela­ tionship became rocky. She began to consent to have sex w ith him against her better judgement. ' “ I didn’t see him as manipula­ tive,” she said. “I only saw myself as weak.” She decided to stop having sex with him. One night, at home for fa ll break, Lindsay said Jason raped her after she refused to have sex with him. “He pinned my arms down and raped me. I tried to get up, but I cou ldn ’t. I was cry ing num b, scared tears. I didn’t believe it was real. I was frozen,” said Lindsay. Lindsay said Jason realized Lindsay was shuddering, and he stopped. “ I drove home in shock,” she said. S im ilarly, Kori said she was raped just before fall break of her freshm an year. The man had been drinking, and was a friend of a friend, whom she walked home after going out. Despite her saying ‘no,’ he started kissing her, and then, she said, proceeded to rape her fo r five hours in his dorm room."He never looked at her face, she said. Both women hesitated to con­ front what had happened to them, though they did realize it was rape. “ I refused to use the w ord [rape],” said Kori. “ I realized it was, but I didn’t want to admit that it would impact my life.” “ I convinced myself it wasn’t rape,” said Lindsay. “ Rape isn’t